Following is something I wrote a few days ago. We got some really bad news , and I debated how to handle this on the blog. But you know what they say - Happiness shared is doubled, sorrow shared is cut in half. Anyway - here goes:
September 11,2001 - I remember the day 7 years ago. I sat on my bed nursing my newborn daughter and watched, in disbelief, as two airplanes flew into the Twin Towers. The experience left me shocked and numb. I could not understand how or why this was happening. I felt angry because I knew then that our world would never be the same. I was fearful of what was to come. I knew we would go to war, what else could we do? We had been attacked. I was mostly mad that this had happened at all – why did these terrorists feel the need to cause this kind of chaos and destruction? It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair.
It is now September 11, 2007 – and this morning at the same time there were dedications and moments of silence being held in NY, DC and Pennsylvania, my world was rocked again. I received the news that I have breast cancer. The coincidence in the dates did not hit me until later that night. I just thought another reason for this ominous date to be wiped from the calendar.
This morning I sit in the radiology office waiting to have an MRI. I am trying to process this information, but it is hard. I do not feel like this is really happening to me. I am in task management mode. I need to get tests done and appointments set up to I can see a surgeon. I need to see the surgeon and find out what I am really dealing with. How bad is this going to be?
I am feeling many of the same things I did 7 years ago. Shock – Disbelief – Anger. Why does this have to happen? Once again Sept 11th has rocked my world. I am determined to come through this experience stronger. Seven years ago our nation came together when we were under threat and became stronger. I will do the same. We were simply not going to let them get the better of us - they cannot win. We were dealing with a cancer on our society, in much the same way, now I must deal with a cancer in my body. I know I will have the support of my friends and family to help is through. I cannot let cancer win – I will not.
I am entering a new reality. I am going to war against cancer. I know my world will never be the same. I hope to find a new normal, eventually a better normal. I want my kids to know that we can be strong and overcome anything. I gave my kids extra hugs today.
6 comments:
Best of wishes!
Aimee - You are so brave to share this personal and life changing story tonight. You are not alone, like you are not alone in the allergy community. You are strong and with others and your family, you will win this! My thoughts are with you and please stay in touch here.
Aimee,
I'm so sorry! I'm sending hugs and prayers your way. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
It is difficult to think of the right thing to say. But as a regular visitor to your blog, I feel like I've come to know you as a faraway friend with whom to share thoughts about food allergies.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
My goodness. Please take a break from blogging and focus on your family and your health. You are allowed to check our blogs and leave comments, but I will yell at you if you blog! Doctor's orders!! We will be there for you when you come back. Brynn and I will put you on our nightly prayer list. -Meg
If you fight this with a fraction of the resolve you exhibit when combating your children's food allergies -- I know you can beat this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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